How I Got Pregnant…

I knew I couldn't have a baby while being in college because I needed to be able to graduate and work since Blaine was in Track and couldn't, and we just had some other personal things to worry about at that time. But Blaine and I both graduated in the Spring of 2012 and that is when I went off birth control and started trying. After one period, I didn't get any for months, so I went to a couple doctors over the next couple of months that were not helpful.

Finally Blaine and I did some research and decided to go to the doctors at the University of Utah's Reproductive Endocrinology unit starting in November 2012. It was all the way up in Salt Lake, but it was so worth it. I loved my doctor. From my very first appointment to my very last, I was never rushed or moved along. He would sit and talk and take as much time as I needed or wanted. My first doctor was a part of the first successful IVF pregnancy in Utah and had been the head of the department.

Apparently I do not ovulate regularly and have polycystic ovarian syndrome. I was very lucky to have Blaine at almost all of my appointments, especially since he is very science/medically minded and detail oriented. I really can't tell you much about the details of my diagnosis. But he also put me on thyroid medicine which I take as soon as I wake up every morning. I can't eat for 30 minutes after and can't have calcium for 4 hours.

Anyways, my doctor knew that June was our deadline for a baby before we moved away for dental school. So I started with several months of Clomid at various doses, which did not work. So then we added Dexamethasone which made me super nauseous. I even threw up in the car on the way to one of my appointments. Side note about my appointments, there was a sign in the waiting room prohibiting small children from being there due to the sensitive nature of their office.

Sometimes the medicine would produce a healthy egg, at which point I would get a trigger shot to force ovulation. Lots of times though, the medicine wouldn't be enough. So then I moved on to injectable medicines and I would have to give myself a shot everyday. Sometimes Blaine would bring it to me at work so I could take it at the same time everyday. Along with all this medicine also came just as many ultrasounds.

I also had to go to University Hospital several times to get my blood work done and to pick up medicines from the pharmacy since it was slightly cheaper. Yes, slightly. We spent several thousands of dollars on this endeavor. Yes, SEVERAL THOUSANDS. And then on top of that, leaving most appointments depressed, we would go out to eat and then stop at Nordstrom Rack or Ikea on the way home and spend more money.

Like I said, I liked the University setting because they were entirely patient and research oriented, rather than money and quantity oriented. Another reason I preferred them was because, although I had one doctor, he would discuss my "more difficult case" with the team of doctors and get input. After a while with my first doctor, he brought us into a conference room with a big white board to discuss our options of where to go from here. He had a flow chart all written up on a piece of paper, which he then drew on the white board. It was very sad, but very sweet. I really loved that doctor.

After discussing our options, we all decided on one path, but because it was more intense and would require me coming in more frequently, he passed me on to a new doctor. He is older and only comes in 2 days a week and taught the Med students the other days of the week. So then I started meeting with the current head of the department, who was very nice and knowledgeable as well, but I loved my original doctor the best.

Finally the month before I we moved,  we decided to try artificial insemination. But then 2 days before we moved, I found out it didn't work. Meanwhile, I knew several other people getting pregnant for the first or even second time without any troubles at all. It was hard and sad and unfair. I cried a lot. A lot. Going to church was the worst because there are tons of cute little kids everywhere and lessons about families or  children or motherhood would spark all sorts of crying. So I am very aware of and sensitive to people in similar situations.

I was lucky to be working at a job that offered me lots of flexibility and good friends, so that was helpful in being able to go to all of my appointments. I also had lots of friends who knew what I was going through and would pray for me and put my name in the temple. My parents went through a similar struggle when they were my age and my dad kept telling me to be active in my own life and to not sit around waiting and being depressed.

Anyways, Blaine and I moved to Oklahoma in the beginning of June and we decided to take a little bit of time off. We needed to save up more money and also take an emotional break since it was so draining and constantly on our minds. So I got a job that took up all my time and energy. And then we got our puppy Jake. Soon after that, I had a particularly rough week at school. I was just extra tired and irritable, and that Friday was our first playoff game, which meant I would be gone from 7am when I left for school until about Midnight. So on Thursday, I went in to talk to my principal to explain my feelings and ask for the next day off. She asked me if I was on my period or pregnant and one thing led to another and pretty much I had an embarrassing melt down in her office, complete with tears and everything... but I got the next day off: Friday, November 22.

Side note of my embarrassment, a couple weeks later I was in the office after school and it was just me and the secretary and she was asking me about my Christmas plans and next thing I know, she gave me a "mom hug" and told me she was there for me if I ever needed her. So I knew she had heard about my melt down. It was very sweet of her, but just drove home my embarrassment.

Anyways, so Friday I had the day off and Blaine had every Friday morning off, so we were home together. We slept in and then while he was brushing his teeth, he told me to take a pregnancy test just for fun. I was hesitant since I had taken several over the past year and they had all come up negative. But I decided to just do it. So I did the test and then passed it to him. His eyes got big and he said, "It says you are!" So I immediately started crying and said, "That's not funny!" But it was true!We even bought 2 more tests and those were positive as well.

So 2 days later, I told my mom by showing her the positive tests on FaceTime. And then later that day or the next day, we told Blaine's family and the rest of my family. My dad struggled to understand if I was talking about Jake being my baby or what. I think of Jake of my adopted baby, though. You know how people struggle to get pregnant, so they give up, relax, and adopt a baby... and then get pregnant right after just on their own? Thats what happened with us after we adopted Jakey :)

So a couple of girls in my ward had told me how great their doctor is who is in our ward. So I called his office and they said his next available appointment was in January. So I made an appointment with another doctor in the meantime and then planned on just switching to the doctor in my ward that I wanted. So remember that Thanksgiving flight fiasco? Well the only good thing to come out of it was that we were able to go to our ward that Sunday and I went over to talk to the doctor and just quickly ask him if there was anything I needed to know or do since I was on thyroid medicine and have PCOS.

He really is the greatest. I had never ever spoken to him before this, but he said just come in tomorrow morning and we could listen to our baby's heartbeat. So we did and it was amazing! We also got our first ultrasound picture of our baby. It determined that I was 7 weeks, 1 day. Then we went to get my blood work done and I hadn't eaten or drank much since my appointment was at 8:00 am. So the lady had a hard time drawing my blood and it hurt. She told me she'd whoop me if I didn't take better care of myself. So she gave me some graham crackers and sent me on my way. So then we left the doctors to go to IHOP and I threw up water and crackers on the side of the road.

Anyways, I will have to go back and catch up on the past couple of weeks. But this is the story about how it I found out I was pregnant. It really is our little miracle because I don't know how it happened. After all that time, money, and modern medicine, it happened on its own. I believe in being proactive and that Heavenly Father helps those who help themselves and don't just sit there and wait and not do their part. So sometimes I wish we would've saved all that money or used it to go on a romantic Mediterranean cruise, but if thats what it took to get us to this point, then so be it. At the time it seemed so far away and so unfair and so uncertain. But looking back now, I feel bad. But mostly I just feel excited and grateful and, in the words of Cam from Modern Family, I just can't wait to be a "stay-at-home-mom/trophy wife!"